Smoking is for jerks.

This is what I'm talking about.

2009-06-25T11:38:00.003-04:00

New matchbooks provided by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene aimed to get people to stop smoking. We need more stuff like this, and it looks like we'll be getting it when they approve the new posters that will be displayed everywhere you can buy cigarettes in the city. The largest ones are 3' x 3' and have pictures of damaged lungs and say, "Smoking causes lung cancer". This is all in line with what Obama is asking for, we'll be more like Europe where the warnings are not candy coated and are all over packs of cigarettes.

Let's Hear it for my Mom!

2009-03-19T10:36:00.000-04:00

The title of that post was supposed to sound like the Denise Williams classic tune, Let's Hear it for the Boy! My mother has officially been smoke-free for 4 whole days! For those who would scoff at the achievement, it's the first time she's been this smoke free for 25 years! That's since she was pregnant with my sister, Emily. This is a MAJOR accomplishment! Everyone send good vibes towards my mom. Although this would be better suited on my Smoking is for Jerks blog, I wanted more people to see it here. Let's go Mom!

Two years smoke free!

2008-08-11T09:16:00.000-04:00

Two years ago today, I kicked that filthy, disgusting, stinky, cancer-inducing habit, we refer to as "smoking". Yeah, the habit that makes people look cool. I finally realized that it was the habit that made people look stupid and a little tacky, smell terrible, discolor their teeth, and generally cloud up their general area. I'm so happy to say that I'm done with that and never once took a look back. We went to a wedding this weekend and met some kids who were battling the habit and were truly envious of my position on the matter. All it really takes is some willpower, courage, and a brain, people. I'm no miracle worker, it was just the only right decision to be made on the topic. So, congratulations to me and thank you.

"Hey Sara, how long has it been?"

2008-04-21T11:34:00.002-04:00

Random story for you. This weekend we went out to celebrate a friend's birthday and I saw some friends I hadn't seen in a long time. So long in fact, that while discussing how long it had been, a friend asked if I wanted to go have a smoke. That's when I realized it had been a little over 20 months since I'd seen this person. How nuts is that? I guess it's an easy way to measure how long it's actually been. Now, if he had offered me a drink to boot, I just don't know what I would've said.

Chantix: Easy way to quit smoking?

2008-02-20T10:22:00.002-05:00

In last week's New York Magazine there was an article written by a guy who had tried to use Chantix to quit smoking. Chantix is a rather new drug that some people are labeling as a "miracle drug" in terms of getting people to kick the habit for good, with something like a 77% relapse rate (compared to the patch which has a 7% rate). That means 77% of the people in the test group who tried the drug were able to stay off cigarettes. That's an amazing success rate. However, with every success tale, there comes a tale of failure. This article is one of those. I can't help but think the author was more addicted to nicotine than he thought and the depression, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations when drinking alcohol, blacking out, and other horrors are side effects that can be linked to anyone who has tried to quit smoking. His stories about fantasizing about a worst-case scenario occur to everyone, depressed or not, smoker or not. I'll be interested to see if this so-called "miracle drug" works for someone close to me and the true side effects that occur. 77% is nothing to scoff at, that's pretty amazing. Let me reiterate that I quit smoking on pure willpower. Not everyone possesses what I've got. I think drugs like Chantix may cause undesired side effects but the ultimate result is that you will not automatically reach for a cigarette out of desire or routine any longer after taking it... and isn't that the point?

14 Months.

2007-10-22T13:49:00.000-04:00

I'm so smoke-free that I didn't even remember to post entries when I hit 13 months or 14 months. That's a pretty awesome thing to be forgetful about. I sure am proud of me. I hope you are too.

One year smoke free!

2007-08-11T09:54:00.000-04:00

How exciting is today? I woke up this morning and felt great knowing that 365 days ago I set out to change my life by giving up a destructive, deadly habit and here I sit a changed person. Recently I went to the doctor and was asked the usual, "Do you smoke?" to which I answered, "no", "Do you drink?" to which I answered, "no", and "Do you get regular exercise?" to which I answered "yes". Not one of those responses was a lie or a white lie. I wasn't exaggerating or hiding the truth. I answered honestly and was reporting back that I am incredibly healthy! It feels like only yesterday that I would have a cigarette in the morning before I left home, on my walk to work, on my walk to pick up lunch (and sometimes on the walk back depending on how much stress I was under), one in the afternoon, one on the walk home, and several throughout the evening (plus several more if it was a weekend or a night when I was going out). Now I don't ever, ever think of it. I haven't messed up once. I did threaten a friend's life one night if he didn't give me a drag of his cigarette, but luckily I moved past that stage fairly quickly. I really truly hope that I am a reminder to those friends of mine who still smoke that it is possible and it is much easier than you think. I haven't sacrificed much and yet I've gained a tremendous amount from being a quitter. Help me celebrate this awesome milestone!

11 months.

2007-07-10T11:23:00.000-04:00

I am one month away from being smoke-free for one year. How cool is that? I can't imagine anything worse than sitting outside smoking a cigarette in the really humid, thick, hot air outside on a day like today. Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far and today will be hotter and more humid. When you smell like sweat and smoke it's disgusting and noticeable. I don't care if you think you don't smell or if you put on lotion, you stink and it's gross.

10 months.

2007-06-12T11:15:00.000-04:00

I have been a non-smoker for 10 months now. I went back to Arlington, VA this past Saturday night and I was at Jay's Saloon & Grille with a couple of smokers and the entire bar was laced with other smokers. Upon entering, the smoke filled my lungs and stained my clothes with its stench. It was pretty gross. My hair smelled awful and I couldn't believe how gross I thought the whole ordeal was. Some people torture themselves when they quit which makes me think that it's not quitting at all that they're doing... they're only taking a break. When you truly quit, everything that you once craved and loved about those magic little sticks is every reason why they become utterly disgusting. I'm very proud of myself but at the same time it doesn't feel like something worth being proud of - it just is something about me. Like, hello, my name is Sara*, I'm 28, and I'm a non-smoker. It's part of me now and that's really cool.

I'm such a non-smoker!

2007-05-14T15:58:00.000-04:00

Look at what day it is! I can't even believe I missed my 9 month anniversary of not smoking! That goes to show you that I'm truly a non-smoker. So much so that I didn't even think to celebrate or give a moment of silence for my little stinky friends and my honorable 9 whole months without them! It's a pretty amazing feeling actually, this forgetfulness thing. I won't even compare the 9 months to another 9 month activity -- that's just gross and not appropriate for right now. But holy crap - go me! I rule! Best Non Smoker Ever.

8 months! I can do it, so can you!

2007-04-10T10:33:00.000-04:00

Dear lady walking down the street,

I smelled your smoke this morning while we waiting for the "walk" sign to cross 8th Avenue on 34th Street. I smelled it so much that I actually coughed out loud. You see, that's a new thing for me, coughing when other people are smoking. I think I even made the "do you smell that disgusting smell?" face as I hurried up my pace so that I could pass you. It didn't work. You came and sat right next to me on the M34 as we further traveled across town to the West Side. You were breathing out of your mouth and I could smell the smoke as if I were the one who had just puffed the butt. 8 months ago, it would've been me who was offending those around me, but now it's you. You're the one who needs to wise up and get over the whole "addiction thing". I did, you can too. Watch some of those anti-smoking commercials without a cynical eye and mind. It hits home after a while.

Just food for thought, smoker.

Stay healthy.

Sara*

7 months!

2007-03-11T16:14:00.000-04:00

I can't even believe it's been 7 months already. I'm on the downward slope towards the big ONE-YEAR mark! Holy smokes (get it?!) I'm quite a badass.

5 months!

2007-01-10T13:40:00.000-05:00

Today is my 5 month anniversary/celebration. I can't believe it's almost been half a year since I was a smoker. I'll say that I see a lot of the anti-smoking commericals up here in New York and it's gross. You have no excuse. It's not cool to smoke. It's cool not to smoke and smell funky, have yellowed teeth, bad breath, stinky clothes, stinky hair, stand outside in freezing temperatures, and have to carry a lighter or matches all the time. It feels as though I'm free. When you're smoking you always have to make sure you have cash for another pack, a lighter, working matches, gum, mints, a smoke-buddy, perfume, hand sanitizer, etc. I don't have to worry about any of that stuff anymore (well, except for the bad breath and stinky person stuff). Please, if you want help, you know where to find me.

Four Whole Months.

2006-12-11T17:22:00.001-05:00

Today is my four month anniversary. Go me!

101. I've Hearned it.

2006-11-20T16:02:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it? I've made it 101 days. A round of applause. Each day is a little easier. Please give it a passing thought if you're still smoking. Don't be a jerk.

Smoke Free for Nine-T.

2006-11-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

It's been 90 days beeeyotches.

I rule.

I don't ever want one of those stinkys again! Power!

Day 80: Not such a big deal.

2006-10-30T13:09:00.000-05:00

Last week it was decided on by a few of my friends that 80 days smoke-free isn't such a big deal. The big celebration happens at day 90 and 1 year. Now that I know I can do it, I have to agree with them. Although I'll say that 80 days feels like a long time and I am quite proud of myself! I've really made a commitment and stuck to it, so I will publicly pat myself on the back and give myself the "attagirl" that will last to Day 90 and throughout my first year of being a non-smoker!

Kings County - The NEW flavor country.

2006-10-16T09:42:00.000-04:00

Mark used to always joke about flavor country, aka Marlboro ads of the 1980s and 1990s. That's why the joke that he made on Saturday was great. When I was young, I loved candy cigarettes and on Saturday, my friends bought me a pack of Kings candy cigarettes... and since I live in Kings County New York, it became a pretty funny joke. What's funnier is that we were walking up to meet these friends for brunch, and the joker himself was enjoying a fake cig.

Day 60: 2 whole months.

2006-10-10T09:25:00.000-04:00

Today I celebrate 60 days of being a non-smoker. I am feeling happy and healthy. I've begun eating much healthier and taking the stairs more often, the long way home, and purposely getting lost in order to walk more, up next is the gym**. Thanks to everyone who has checked back on this little site on a regular basis to keep up with my progress, I probably wouldn't have stayed true without you guys. It's a lot of pressure knowing that people are reading this and wondering about how I'm doing. Thanks to Mark most of all for all of the "no you don't"s and the "you smell nice"s. Those helped a lot as well.

Cha-ching: I have now saved over $200 on not smoking*.

* Which is good, because I'm "in the hole", as they say.

** For real this time.

Day 53: It feels like yesterday.

2006-10-03T16:29:00.000-04:00

I was around Mark's family this weekend (at the Burns Family Boozefest in CT) and a couple of his cousins smoke. It was interesting being around them and not partaking in the activity. It's strange to me how bad cigarettes smell now. It's so nice not to open my wallet and have it reek of smoke or have little pieces of tobacco stuck in my iPod cover. It was, however, awesome to talk about how I am a non-smoker around his mother and father. I feel proud.

Cha-ching: I have saved over $185 by not smoking cigarettes for 53 days.

Day 48: The Ripple Effect.

2006-09-28T10:48:00.000-04:00

I believe we have what you call a ripple effect going on. My mother, my sister, a co-worker, and a few other acquaintances have all mentioned that I have been an inspiration for them and they are now on their way to setting up a "quit plan". Hey, if I can do it, you can do it. My only advice is to take notice of the cigarettes that are most important to you throughout the day, try to occupy yourself with another activity during those times. Also, if you smoke more than 10 cigarettes a day, I would consult a doctor to see what options are available rather than just cold turkey.

Day 40: It's been a long time.

2006-09-20T21:11:00.000-04:00

So I figure I'll check in every 10 days now that my first month has come and gone. Mark went out of town and I'm home alone for the first time since I quit smoking. It feels strange. I feel like when I'm alone, it's a good time to smoke because I'm easily bored*.

Cha-ching: On a happy and productive note, I have saved over $140 since I quit smoking.

* I should be studying for my certification exam.

Day 31: One Month Smoke Free. Go me!

2006-09-11T09:14:00.000-04:00

So a congratulations is in order... a congratulations to myself. Way to go, me. 1 full month smoke-free. All those mornings that I wanted to get up and kick start my day with a soda and a cigarette are now filled with brisk walks to work and glasses of water. All those lunch times are spent walking and working rather than stinking and smoking. All those nights out with my friends are actually spent hanging out with my friends and not the random strangers that are fellow-smokers. It's a great feeling. Hopefully this website has been inspirational and continues to be. I will be checking in every now and then to share stories, hardships, and to brag about how in shape I am. Til' then.

Day 29: Boring.

2006-09-09T11:27:00.000-04:00

I used to smoke all the time just to pass the minutes away on the clock. I smoked when I was bored all the time. Well, I'm bored this morning because Mark is out on his motorcycle and I can't bring myself to study yet and I'm not smoking (obviously) so I'm just super bored. No fun. Boring. Boring. Boring.

Day 28: I am almost there.

2006-09-08T10:10:00.000-04:00

I'm on day 28. They say that 30 days is an addiction, meaning after 30 days without a drug, alcohol or cigarette (in my case) then you have effectively beaten your addiction. August 11th was my quit day and by quit day I mean "last day" as a smoker. And boy did I smoke. I smoked as much as I possibly could that lovely Friday evening... so much so that I didn't want one again *.

That was 4 Fridays ago. I can't handle it. It's amazing. Sometimes I am jealous of smokers that I see walking around. They're looking so carefree like they don't really give a shit about their bodies or health, just smoking away and free as a breeze.

I have saved over $98 on not buying cigarettes. That's approximately $100 over 1 month. That's $1,200 in 1 year. That's $13,200 over a period of 11 years (how long I was a smoker.) I'd say it's worth it.

Day 27: My round face.

2006-09-07T10:14:00.000-04:00

I'm gaining weight I think. It would be no surprise to me if I was because I feel as though my appetite has skyrocketed and I get cravings all day for salty... then sweet... then salty again. It's absolutely insane. I'm really in need of some gym time. I find myself really hustling on the streets when walking to work and opting for the stairs rather than the elevator - I gotta get it in anyway I can. But I'll take a couple pounds over the bad habit of smoking anyday.

Day 26: I can't even believe it.

2006-09-06T09:47:00.000-04:00

So I am on day 26 and I can't even really believe it. I'm almost to a full month with no smoking and it feels like it was yesterday. I watched as a girl hurriedly tried to smoke outside of my building this morning before going into work and I remember being that girl. Sometimes I would take breaks in the morning or the afternoon just because I wanted one. Addiction may not have completely had its hold on me, but it definitely controls you or at least confines you to a routine that is not all that hard to break, so I've found out.

Cha-ching: As of today, I've saved over $91 on not smoking. Because I did, I went to Old Navy yesterday and bought leggings. Yes, I did. Take $10 off of your purchase of $75 or more. Get the coupon here. Limited Time Only.

Days: 22, 23, 24, & 25: Almost an oops.

2006-09-05T11:10:00.000-04:00

I'm on day 25 of this non-smoking and I almost completely fell off the bandwagon this weekend. Friday night we had some friends into town and of course we went to the Brooklyn Brewery to hang out on Friday night. Whenever we go there, we end up leaving way more intoxicated than when we show up to the joint. We were sipping India Pale Ales (IPA) by the dozen and it turned into a very hazy night for me. But this isn't a blog about drinking... it's a blog about smoking and I nearly threatened a friend's life to get a cigarette from him that evening and thank goodness he's a good friend. There were no mess ups. And so we're to day 25 already.

Cha-ching: By day 22, I had saved $77 on not smoking. By day 42, I'm up to $84 saved.

Day 21: 3 full weeks.

2006-09-01T09:53:00.000-04:00

Last night was hard. We went to Clem's and I just had a beer (took me 45 minutes to drink) and we were sitting outside with all the smokers. I kept smelling the cigarette smoke and it was a strange feeling. I didn't necessarily want a cigarette, but I didn't not want one. I'm becoming a judger. I look at some people that smoke and think they are weak. I wonder if they've ever tried to quit. Anyway, the temptation finally left and I was able to focus on the coversation at hand although I was tapping my foot and twitching and I didn't really notice it until Mark pointed it out. Weird. I hate it. Wish me luck - it's a long, holiday weekend and I'm anticipating lots of drinking and the perfect weather for a cigarette.

Day 20: "Your hair smells good."

2006-08-31T10:34:00.000-04:00

Last night, Mark told me that my hair smelled really good and asked why. I had changed my shampoo and conditioner recently, but the fact of the matter is that I don't have a layer of smoke on my person at all times anymore. You can actually smell my shampoo, perfume, and lotion. It's amazing.

Cha-ching: I've saved over $70 on not buying and smoking cigarettes.

Day 19: Getting Healthy.

2006-08-30T09:53:00.000-04:00

I've set out a little plan for myself which includes but is not limited to joining the gym. Some may say, I'll be saving more per month than a gym membership costs and that could be true although money has a way of disappearing on me. The reason I bring up the money thing is because it's the only thing in the way of my gym membership. So, once I have enough money put together for joining and to afford the new shoes, and workout gear (sports bras and so forth), I'll be sweating to the oldies and continuing the campaign against unhealthiness*.

*Does not include removing macaroni and cheese, donuts, cake or ice cream from my diet. Don't even think about it.

Day 18: I'm no fool.

2006-08-29T09:43:00.000-04:00

I've already saved over $63 on not smoking. I'm doing great. Thanks for the encouragement. I looked back at some old pictures of me with cigarettes which I will post very soon. More amusing than anything else but nothing about them made me want to spark it up so that's a bonus. Again, stay tuned for blasts from the past.

Days 15, 16, & 17: I'm a non-smoker.

2006-08-28T09:34:00.000-04:00

This was the first time I had enjoyed some adult beverages sans smoking habit and I'd like to admit I did a great job. Thanks to the positive support from my man, Mark and hanging around other non-smokers, the temptation wasn't even there. I worry about hanging out at bars but I'm taking baby steps and I feel like as of 17 days, I should be good to go.

I've saved $56 on not buying and smoking cigarettes for 16 + days.

Day 14: I'm over the hump.

2006-08-25T12:34:00.000-04:00

Many doctors say that if you make it past 2 weeks then your body and brain have broken the habit and that you just need to keep up the willpower. I'm pretty proud of myself for making it here and without any trouble (except maybe a few pounds and a cavity due to increased ice cream consumption). This note is to all of you who want to quit smoking and have felt like it just wasn't the right time or weren't ready. Make today the day.

I've also saved at least $49 on not buying cigarettes which I will use towards purchasing my ticket to Westhampton this weekend. I'm going to the Hamptons, baby.

Day 13: I'm feeling frumpy.

2006-08-24T09:29:00.000-04:00

The feeling has set in. I'm over smoking and I'm realizing that my metabolism isn't being sped up by anything except for my heartrate on occasion with no more cigarettes around... I need to (dun, dun, DUN) JOIN THE GYM!

This is the one I will join. I will go with my boyfriend to the gym. How suburban of us?

But on a positive note, I'm still smoke-free. So I rule.

The "BAD" cigarettes.

2006-08-23T10:02:00.000-04:00

"For once a smoker quits, he often forgets just how rotten life was as a smoker. He forgets the bad cigarettes, the cough, the aches and pains, the dirty looks, the inconveniences, and most importantly, the addiction. He forgets what life was truly like as a smoker."

This website has lots of useful links and many, many motivating pages like this one. But when I read the passage above about "bad cigarettes" I felt a little ill. Sometimes, especially when I was really hungover, I would go have a cigarette on the porch and almost vomit like 3 times but would hang in there just to suck it down. Other times, I would take a drag and my throat would be dry and I would gag as it went down. Other times still, I would dry heave at the very notion of a cigarette. All of these things while still being completely in love with cigarettes.

Nicotine Addiction - Tricky Business.

2006-08-23T09:30:00.000-04:00

I have started to wonder if I was ever really addicted to nicotine because of the lack of issues I've had with quitting. Supposedly, if you endure the withdrawl symptoms and bad side effects of smoking cessation, it's a pretty high indication that you were pretty hooked on the stuff. Me, I think I was addicted to the habit. A friend of mine who quit smoking a few years back really like smoking when she was out at night so she continued to go outside with her friends that smoked when they would have smoke breaks* to keep the "habit" up but not the smoking part of it. I may try that.

I haven't experienced the lack of sleep (just the opposite), the crankiness, the exhaustion, the frustration, the anxiety, and all of the other side effects that are similar to withdrawl. Go me. Now if I could just shake this sweets kick that I've been on.

*You have to smoke outdoors in New York City bars, unless you're with me in Brooklyn and I try to sneak it. (not anymore!)

Day 12: Cha-ching.

2006-08-23T09:22:00.000-04:00

I've saved $42 in 12 days from not buying cigarettes.

However, I've spent approximately $12 on Haagan Daas.

Day 11: Boring.

2006-08-22T09:50:00.000-04:00

This has really been a cake walk so far... mmmm... cake.

I will say that I haven't been exaggerating when I've mentioned that I have completely traded cigarettes for sweets. I ate another small container of Hagan Daas Vanilla ice cream again last night. I'm going to quit ice cream later today. Wish me luck. I feel like quitting ice cream is going to be harder than quitting the habit I had for 11 years.

Days 8, 9, & 10: Temptation and lack thereof.

2006-08-21T10:20:00.000-04:00

Cigarettes stink. I'll put that out there.

I'll also put out there that I've already saved over $35 in not buying cigarettes for the past 10 days.

Days 8 & 9 were spent with my mother and sister who, regretably, smoke cigarettes. The positive to this is that I sat with both of them as they did so and not once had to urge to pry them away from their hands, nor was I judge-y about their habits. I just kept to myself as several of my friends have done over the years and had a conversation with a smoker. And day 10, well day 10 is going swimmingly well, thank you for your concern.

I never knew that this would be so easy once I made up my mind. I am not having any trouble with crankiness, depression, cravings, BUT, I sure do like ice cream. I was calling it nature's cigarette last night.

Vanilla is the new tobacco.

Day 7: Umm, what was that? 7?

2006-08-18T10:57:00.000-04:00

I can't seem to believe that I'm beginning Day 7 with no cigarettes. Last Friday seems like it just happened. The day that I tried my best to smoke everywhere I went, obviously didn't smoke in the office or else I'd have no job or cigarette habit at this point in time. Anyway, let's hear it for me... 7 days. Not quite a week until I wake up tomorrow, but damn, go me!

Beware the 5 lb. weight gain.

2006-08-17T17:16:00.000-04:00

They all say you'll gain 5 lbs. when you quit smoking.

What do they know?

I've had ice cream every night this week and last night went back for seconds.

I need to keep my lungs moisturized.

2006-08-17T17:00:00.000-04:00

"Ex-smokers find that within a few days of quitting the excessive phlegm which was produced by the irritation of smoke in their airways will start to "loosen" and over the next few weeks they will cough it up. Smokers' cilia, the microscopic hair-like structures that are the body's natural cleaning mechanism, have been paralysed by smoking. When they function normally they beat rhythmically and "sweep" clean the lung passages of dust and other foreign particles. It may take up to 3 months before the cilia completely recover their function."

"The focus for healing the lungs is to moisturize them, so that the phlegm is softened and loosened up. Then, we need to expel the phlegm from the chest. For this we use herbal combinations. In addition, Fatty Acids like Flaxseed Oil and Salmon Oil will moisturize and nourish the tissue, and modify the discomfort of occasional coughing."

"Starting an exercise program is the single most beneficial thing anex-smoker can do. Why? Regular exercise can produce biochemicalchanges similar to those caused by nicotine, including enhanced mental sharpness and a greater sense of calm. Exercise generatescatecholamines, chemicals that help increase mental alertness, as wellas endorphins, which help decrease feelings of anxiety and depression. Burning more calories also keeps your metabolism in high gear, helpingto stave off any excess weight that can be brought on by quittingsmoking."

It's not too early.

2006-08-17T16:01:00.000-04:00

This year you can take part in the Great American Smokeout, Thursday, November 16th join hundreds of thousands of smokers who quit smoking for at least a day. Odds are that if you plan ahead, you have better odds of quitting for good too.

You can also come do this with me on Sunday, October 15th in Prospect Park... I'm thinking of getting a team together. Interested? Let me know.

Day 6: Cha-ching.

2006-08-17T10:13:00.000-04:00

I've saved $21.00 by not buying cigarettes in 6 days. That's also 60 cigarettes that I haven't smoked. 60. That's disgusting.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

2006-08-16T16:30:00.000-04:00

So I realized today as I've been coughing up a lung and blowing my nose that maybe my cold has something to do with my smoking cessation*. [BTW, I wish Blogger provided footnotes] I have been researching and indeed recent quitters have a higher chance of cold symptoms, sore throats, chills, headaches, drops in blood sugar**, and all sorts of other good stuff. This makes me feel better, but then it hit me... I've almost completely cut out caffeine from my diet as well. Caffeine & Cigarettes = once a match made in heaven to me, are almost completely out of my system and I'm feeling all sorts of strange. Plus, I ate macaroni & cheese and washed it down with ice cream last night. I gots to get in the gym before this standard 5lbs of smoking weight hits me.

* Cessation is the clinical term and makes me feel as though I've accomplished more than just 5 days without cigarettes.
** Blood sugar rises with Ice Cream (I've had it every night this week).

My first cigarette.

2006-08-16T12:08:00.000-04:00

My first cigarette is something that I look back on with not much confusion. Every single one of my girlfriends was smoking by the age of 15 or 16 and at the ripe young age of 16 I had gotten enough pressure to try it myself. This was the legitimate first time. I had stolen some of Mom's delicious Salem Slim Light 100's several times beforehand to try to get the hang of it but the menthol in those threw me all off. Now I had pushed off the idea of becoming a smoker and all of my friends would pressure me daily, so one day I decided to have one [Marlboro Light*] with my friend Megan. I coughed and coughed again, but I did it, I made it all the way through. I didn't inhale correctly at all at the beginning. You never do. It tastes completely different if you inhale correctly or not. Anyway, it became something I did occaisionally which then turned into something I did before school and after, before cheerleading practice and after, on Friday nights and on Tuesday nights. I was hooked from day #1.

*Marlboro Lights: (slut butts), also known as "My first cigarette" for me and about 100,000 other chicks around the country. This seems like the easiest cigrette to go for, but to me, it's the stinkiest, most awful cigarette that ever was. I smoked Mr. Marlboro from 1995-2003.

Something smells funny...

2006-08-16T10:43:00.000-04:00

Free Web Poll from CWT

Day 5: This is it?

2006-08-16T10:26:00.000-04:00

I've become more and more surprised at how easy* it's been for me to remove smoking from my daily life. You saw it, I was smoking more than 10 cigarettes a day at some points in the past few months. Willpower is a really strong thing and I'll say that having an online diary where multiple people can track my progress - I like to call them my cheerleaders - is a real push to stay on the straight and narrow.

*I say easy, but breaking the routine is continually what is harder than breaking the actual habit of smoking. Cold turkey is not for everyone which is why there are gums and patches and pills that you can take to stick with it.

The cigarettes I used to smoke.

2006-08-15T09:48:00.000-04:00

I'd been in such a pattern of lying about how many cigarettes I smoked per day to everyone: my parents, to doctors, but mostly to myself. So I'm going to look back and figure out just how many I was consuming per day.

8:15 - Just before I left the house in the AM.
8:45 - On the walk from the subway to the office.
12:30 - On the walk to lunch from the office.
12:45 - On the walk from lunch to the office.
[sometimes] 3:00 - The random afternoon break.
5:30 - On the walk to the subway from the office.
6:30 - After-work break.
7:30 - After dinner break.
8:30-11:00 - Probably have about 3 in this time period.

Grand total: 9 to 11 cigarettes per day.
Pack = 20 cigarettes
Pack = $6.75 at Felo Deli on South 1st Street, Brooklyn, NY.

Day 4: Cha-ching.

2006-08-15T09:29:00.000-04:00

I've already saved $14.00.

Day 3: The hardest ones...

2006-08-14T23:16:00.000-04:00

... to give up so far have come at night. The one after dinner was my favorite. Especially after a spicy meal. It always helped the food digest (at least in my head that's what it did.) I just took the dog out for a walk and realized that I had made it through another day though, so, go me! 3 whole days! On to day number 4...

Day 2: Cha-ching.

2006-08-13T09:28:00.000-04:00

I've already saved $7.00.

Day 1: Psssht, this is easy.

2006-08-12T23:19:00.000-04:00

Only because I'm hungover. Not smoking when you've smoked too much the night before is kind of disgusting. I used to say that depending on how my first cigarette of the day went down, I would either have a good day or bad when hungover. Like sometimes I would gag on that first or second drag and realize that I probably needed to get back in bed. Or sometimes it would go fine and I'd want another right away and think, "gosh, let's go to brunch!"

Ok, let's begin this...

2006-08-12T10:30:00.000-04:00

I woke up today and threw away the leftover 6 cigarettes that remained in my last pack from the night before. Just like that. They sat in the trash can all day long and I didn't think about getting them once. I am filled with willpower.

The Big Break-up.

2006-08-12T08:29:00.000-04:00

I broke up with my former love on Friday, August 11th. I made a deal with myself to see how many cigarettes I could possibly smoke in one single day. Turns out the answer is a lot. I smoked on my walk to get coffee, after coffee, to work, from work to lunch, from lunch to work, from work to the subway, from the subway to my apartment, while walking the dog, while walking a friend's dog, and we wrapped things up by drinking heavily. I thought that if I got super drunk and had an awful hangover and let the taste of my former friend linger in my mouth the entire following day, perhaps then would I have an awful association of the cigarettes to an awful, awful evening of awfulness.

My plan seems to be working.